Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Sweet Caroline...

I've been meaning to write a "happy birthday" letter to Caroline for some time. I've postponed it for many reasons...sickness, weather, a busy life, but mostly because I don't want to believe it. My baby is two. MY BABY!

You might think with an older brother and sister than she would be ready to grow up and in some ways that is true but not always. When I asked her the other day if she wanted a pillow like the big kids had she refused and said "NO! BIG! GIRL!". She knows she is my baby. She wants me to rock her and sing to her still. She walks around with her doggy and pacy(which by the way I SHOULD think about taking away, ugh) and always always wants me to carry her.

I never went through this with Reagan and Claire. They were too busy. The never cuddled like Caroline cuddled. Maybe it's because they were twins? Maybe because by the time they were her age she was already born(whoa!)? Maybe because I had a lot more help with them so I think they were more willing to go to anyone? Maybe because I didn't nurse them for long, or because they weren't swaddled as well, they spent too much time in bouncey seats, watched baby einstein....whoa! Guilty mom anyone?

I never had to feel guilty with Caroline. She is the third child but she feels more like my first. Twins are an amazing thing. They take a ton of work but get you a ton of attention. They always have each other which is comforting as a parent because they are never alone but also in a way can make you feel left out. Caroline was MY baby. I didn't have to share her. In fact for the first year I was it for her. I carried her in the baby carrier everywhere and nursed her on demand. I would never give back the experience of having twins but THIS is what I pictured when I thought about having a child. A single child. All those things you picture doing as a new parent are hard to do with two, Caroline gave me some of those things back. It's purely selfish and honestly when Reagan and Claire were one year I decided that I could be happy with two children and I think I could have been. I'm just really glad I didn't have to be.

So here it goes...

Sweet Baby Caroline,

Thanks for being the third child. Thanks for being an easy pregnancy, easy baby and easy toddler(sometimes). I could live with out the temper tantrums in the library and throwing things in the grocery store. I couldn't live with out the pig tails and sweet little voice. I love that instead of saying yes you say "huh". I love hearing you sing "Wish you merry Christmas happy new year" on your "stage" even in February. I love hearing you walk in your squeaky shoes and reading you God Loves you books twenty times in a row. Keep it up, and I'll keep calling you baby Caroline.



(token cute picture taken by Jennifer)

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